It’s Becoming On an Orangutan…

Perhaps it was because I had just spent time around the grands who were full of energy, agility and did I mention energy?… 

Maybe it was because I hadn’t been sleeping very well and I was sporting a very tired face …

Or possibly it’s the reality of another birthday pushing me ever closer into another decade of life…

Whatever it was … the THING that pushed me over the “edge” was the comment made by the darling (?) “twenty-something" year-old while purchasing carpet shampoo as she sweetly said  “You’re going to shampoo your own carpets? Wow! I’m impressed!  That takes a lot of energy. That’s awesome!”  -   Awesome?  What?  Did she think I was too old and feeble to push a carpet shampooer and then dump the dirty water in the toilet?

That did it!  I drove to the drug store. Carefully, I examined the boxes of hair color lining the shelves, determined to rinse way the gray and add some oomph to my dull unmanageable curls. Nothing drastic. Nothing permanent. Just a nice semi-permanent light golden brown. That should do the trick! 

I went home with a new spring in my step and smile on my face. I carefully read and followed the directions to the letter. Set the timer and waited for the magic to happen.  BOY! Did IT ever!!!  As looked into the mirror… after rinsing thoroughly … I was met by the most amazing sight!  ORANGUATAN ORANGE!!!   OH. M.Y.  G.O.O.D.N.E.S.S.!!!  Had I picked up the  wrong box?  Did I read it incorrectly?  I grabbed the box of hair color from my bathroom counter. There it was – in big letters - “Light Golden Brown.”  THIS color was NOT golden!  THIS color was NOT brown!  This hot mess was ORANGUATAN ORANGE!!!  My heart plummeted.  My angst skyrocketed!  What on earth was I going to do?

I got on-line like any intelligent human being would do and searched for an easy and quick solution to this temporary (I HOPED) problem. I found dozens of remedies and I tried several.  –From washing my hair with dish soap. Washing with dish soap AND baking soda. –Crushing vitamin C tablets into powder, making a paste then applying it to the hair capping it off in plastic wrap. *A guaranteed SURE CURE.  Ahhh…. NOT!   –Rinsing in DIET cola to strip hair of color (if it strips color out of one’s hair, I could only imagine what it does to the stomach???)  

After each magic “remedy”  I looked in the mirror and was met with the same brilliant reflection . No magic happened! No easy solution occurred! Only raw ORANGUATAN ORANGE remained.  My only thought (other then what have I DONE?) was… What’s Michael going to say after he returns home from Hawaii in a couple of days???  

I went to bed feeling sick to my stomach. Upset with myself for letting “things” and comments make me feel old and frumpy.  Discouraged that I hadn’t heeded the H.A.L.T. principle I knew so well and often shared with others.

“Never let yourself become

too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely or too Tired.”

 

Now, here I was … the neon orange by-product of  NOT following my own advice.  It was time to go to bed – and hopefully in the daylight “IT’ wouldn’t look as bad as it did in the dark. But morning arrived just as colorfully as it had ended. Wishful thinking is one thing, but reality is another. And the color orange is still orange no matter how you slice it!  A trip to Sally’s Beauty Supply along with Walgreens and CVS was in order … acquiring various sundry items to try to tone down my hair. 

Well… no need to drag this out.  Suffice it to say - I’m not as ORANGUATAN ORANGE anymore – or perhaps I’ve gotten use to it over the past couple of days -  but at least now I can go outside without my baseball cap.  And hopefully I’ve learned a few things these past couple of days…

FIRST - Remember to Remember: H.A.L.T. 

SECOND - “Be content in ALL things…”   (Philippians 4:11)

THIRD - Stay away from the hair coloring isle at the drug store.

            and….

FOURTH – Go shoe shopping instead.

Wish me LUCK!  I’m on my way to the airport to pick up Michael….